they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
