...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Randomize
