If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Damn victory sex feels great
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
