It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
