We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
