dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
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