I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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