Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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