as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
