don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
