When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
