Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I want to be your penis for a week.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
