I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
