he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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