so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
