She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
