I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
