I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
