We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
