hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
