My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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