gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
