I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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