STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
