I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
