Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
