you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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