Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
