question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
