DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
