Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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