im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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