Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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