Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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