Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize