i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Randomize
