flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
