I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
