Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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