he was CRYING into my vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
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