Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize