I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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