my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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