i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
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