oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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