I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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