She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
