and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize