Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
