At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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