Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
