My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
