Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
