she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
