if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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