We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
