benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
